We Were Slaves In The Land Of Egypt

ANNOUNCEMENT:
I would like to demand reparations from the land of Egypt for enslaving one of my people in the year 1700BCE, for an extent of 200 years or so. I demand monetary payments be made to evey Jew of able and unable age, including all genders and denominations, living, and dead, as well as future reparations for every child any able bodied and not able bodied (check out our Abraham and Sarah having kids wayyy past their due date, by the grace of God and his angels) will or will not have, including any number the children of these children and, correspondigly, of these children's children, any amount, therefore, unlimited. Beyonf that, I demand free and unlimited access to your land, resources and people from any member of these people at any time and to the extent of any time, so long as the Earth turns. Past that, I will hold you absolved from your debt. Furthermore, I require all leading positions be given to someone Jewish, regardless of their expertise or knowledge of the subject because a simple fact that they are Jewish, will suffice. I demand the suspension of criteria of knowledge, expertise and competence when applications for jobs or schools will be reviewed for my people. Furthermore, I demand preferrential treatment of any of the tribe on any premises of your land at any time in the present and future. I would say past too, but I don't think we could go back, if I find out we can, then I demand you provide these things in the past as well. This is implied, of course. Furthermore, I demand all avenues of life be open to anyone from my tribe, as I said, with suspension of any and all criteria, simply because they desire to grace your industry with their benevolent presence. Failure to comply will be held as a violation of agreement. Any complaint on the part of any member on thr tribe, even if it be an imbecile, will be reviewed with utmost seriousness, and I can tell you already, REGARDLESS of the situation, YOU WILL BE found guilty. So, let's save time and not even spend money on the review of the cases. Why? We know you are guilty already. After all, why go through useless process and unnecessary procedures if you are found guilty before proved innocent? HELLLOOO!!
To conlude this document drafted in the time of dire injustice where I have come to realize how you've all been getting away with never paying that debt to us, I command you never speak to any of the tribe members on any issues lest it be with the lowered head, cast down eyes and utter humiliation of your person. Any attempt on your part to present yourself as a normal human being with dignity, will be viewed as a violation of this order. PS. Make sure you make your women available for sexual pleasure of anyone from the tribe, for no price, at any time, anywhere, anyhow. A failure to comply with this provision will be viewed as a direct violation of the order.
Failure to provide to just and necessary rewards will translate into a wrong action, a slave owner's intent and a mentality corrupt and void of justice and humblness of a wrong doer. Correspondigly, it will be viewed as a violation of this order.
Dana Zakharov.