Review of an "art" opening at Black and White Gallery

February 02, 2007 from 6-9pm.

Want to have a good laugh? Perhaps some wine? And how about to rub against some young hot bodies? And how about being starred down at, to and spoken and gossiped about most innapopriately? Well, in that case you should have been at last night's "art" opening at Black and White Gallery at Driggs avenue. And if you came there for the above mentioned purposes, you would have found them there. All. And more. Including misogynistic employment opportunities that featured stressed out and fearful of a male supervisor females. But if you came to an art opening for a reason that intelligent and art loving people have for coming to an art opening at at gallery, you would have found nothing to see or do.
To begin with, the art was crap. Childhish sketches of some repressed male-female internalized conflicts were on the wall, alternating with young adult collage of absolute thoughtfullness and idiocy. All were done in an aobvious hurry and completed with some trite statements on social mobility, median distribution. The half naked males of white and black races were also there, on the walls. The portraits presented the tatooes of their owners, as well as the tatooe owners at their humble domestic entertainments, including playing piano. The obvious imitation of style in both the painting and the photography was obvious and painful. My crotch started to feel sad. I don't like when my crotch feels sad. It should never be made to feel sad, goddamnit.
The show opened to horrendous and cacaphonous sounds of a guy with viola, strking it either which way attempting to represent the famous branch that practices this music, I have to remember the name. Chaotic atmoshpere was set up and sold on the concept stupid females were floating around with their stupid, thoughtless and carnovorous smiles. Dumb ass males commanded the females and I was waiting for a blood sacrifice at the gathering of these Satanists-wanna-bees. To complete the beauty and the "suprise" of the gallery, a very typical picture presented itself to a weary with crazy and trite people, traveller: most expected for such a crowd piece: a large bowl with some fire burning in it, under the open sky! Wow, how special1 How unique! How absolutely not done before! It also rained so, wow, what a energy collection, right?
The other "ambiance" creators were Asian females and post-post modernist movies on the screen on the wall. Here is where I have encountered my adventure. At least though here was SOME thought and any activity outside of this gathering was better that no activity at all. On the screen, a woman in a nightgown and with a Ku Klux Klan like hood over her head and face was assembling her cote. The movie was wired to begin once the woman have completed her ungrateful task. I assume that the point of this piece was to represent the merry go round of the routine of a daliy life in a life of a woman, and it would not be all so bad if not for such a predictable typicalness. On top of that, a stream of haughty and nationalistic Asian (of course!) females was incesantly going around disturbing the piece and concetration of some people who were attempting to appreciate the "art" pieces. One of them stood, very purposefully, in front of a movie screen and dragging (literally, by her hand!) some poor White girl over, stood her next to herself. It is as if these people practiced sadism, taught by all the years of patriarchal oppression and submission, to be nasty, sadistic and bad people. Their behavior often indicates that they trade humanity and do not consider it like we do, an undivesteable, inherent quality of anyone born into a human family. So, this woman was no different from ehr sister.s She acted similar to them and reflected her guiding principle and attitude towards human beings in general, and White women, specifically. She made an eye contact previously, with me (?) and now continued to stare at me while she spoke to her poor friend. Why? Beat me. Obviously, the fact that I was watching a movie did not matter here. The fact that I was a guest at an art opening and was looking a t the art, did not amoung much for this female. I stood and thought perhaps she did not notice, but she did notice my staring pass her, into the screem yet she refused to move. When I attempted to be more literal in my desire to watch the movie and moved my neck to the front left and front right, indicating my inability to watch a movie, Asian female gave me a poisonous and satisfied, very vicious smile. What a weirdo and a sadist! Observing that the hints would not do with this half wit, I asked her straight forwardly, to move. She threw her eyes at me in shock: how dare I! Perhaps she did not know people should not be treated this way, who knows. She did move, after having thrown her very plucked eyebrows up, grabbed her poor White friend and walked around me. She picked up some paper work, and started turning the pages of it with a deliberate noise, and made sure they brushed against me as she did it. Was she on medication or off it or not on it? I gave her a benefit of a doubt - maybe she has no concept of personal space? Like a spacial disease many females seem to share? But as time lingered on, and on, so did she and her eyes were almost always on my face, like Poison Ivy on your sleeve. I sighed and shook my head, and walked away from a crazy bitch who has made herself into a crazy patriarchal bitch. The Asian female stopped all she was doing and stared at me: how dare I walk away! What am I doing! Her White friend was gaping adoringly into her mouth while all of this interaction was overlooked, with much benevolence, by a pair of frat looking boys. This place was whacked in so many ways I did not know how to begin to count it...So I left the scene walked around to get some more wine, to drown out the bitterness of being in the presence of ignorance and having come out all the way at a suggestion, to this place of idiocy. I came back when the sick shizophrenic descendant of mighty pussy-sellers was gone. I stood at my spot and watched the movie, sipping a bit sour but understandbly not top-shelf glass of wine. Some other middle Eastern looking female stood by the screen now, looking around herself helplessly like a blind calf. She was standing in front of a scren, clumsily shifting her bodily weight from one foot to another. She saw me trying to watch the movie and started blushing. I believe she assumed I was looking at her! God in Heaven! She started to run around and blocked the screen many a time, then, when she saw me sigh she appologized and waved her hand in confusion. God, women, get over yourselves! From there she continued staring at me as she spoke to her friends. The women would not leave me. She did not stop staring. Both of these women reminded me of half crazed and confused by contradictory labarotory Skinner's rats. I was greatly saddened by the event.
I drank one more glass of wine and left. On my way out some guy waited until I walked, then quickly darted under my feet to the opposite direction I did not move away like Asian and other females do, all the while giggling stupidly- after all, enough is enough, not only this is harassment, it is unreasonable and unbecoming of human beings. Some two or three guys checked me out and smiled. I blushed and though that no frat boys for this boi, no thanks, I am out, crowd, chao.
So, I would not dart nor skip but walk. There is no hurry. There is no fire. I am walking reasonably and in peace. Leave me alone. I was finally outside. Another guy darted under my feet - like a livestock. I stood out my foot to the hurrying guy, and he tripped. Shocked and hurt, he turned around to look at me and said something. I stood still and asked him "Chto?". He said nothing. He looked at me deeply. I looked at him deeply. Fuck you too.
I walked home, ordered Chinese food and did some math. Then I went to sleep and dreamt of furries and harpies and Salem withc trial.
So, so much for the "art" gallery opening at Black and White Gallery on Driggs.